is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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