Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
