i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
