I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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