Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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