he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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