I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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