Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
