i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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