Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
