why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
