You can't motorboat a personality
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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