this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
