He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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