I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
