feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
