it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
