I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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