Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
