We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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