i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
