No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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