yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
