fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
