just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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