Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
