i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
