I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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