We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
