The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
