you're like a bully in the Christmas story
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You're a waste of cheezeits
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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