You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
All I want is dick and wine.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
