Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
