I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
