i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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