he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
