Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize