I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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