I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
