I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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