I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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