I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
