At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
