Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
