Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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