drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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