she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
