your parents love me but you hate me
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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