I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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