I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
