Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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