I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
